No matter what kind of treatment you had or where you had it, you no doubt have some post-treatment issues. Big or small, physical or between the ears, don’t dismiss them. Rather, talk with your doctor or do a little research on line. There are support organizations and Survivor Care Plans just waiting to give you a big hand.
So what makes a woman “beautiful?”
It is the crinkle at the corner of her laughing mouth. It is the warmth of her loving hand. It is the light in her eyes when she’s passionate about something. It is the love she has for others.
It has nothing to do with hair or breasts. It has everything to do with what’s inside.
Here’s an interesting factoid: psychologists are now on board with the “fake it till you make it” concept. Furthermore, when you think you’re better at something than you really are, others tend to think so too. In a nutshell, recent experiments showed that people are easily persuaded by others’ confidence, even if it’s unjustified. You can read more about the experiments here.
How does that link to courage? I believe (and have actually seen exhibited) that if you are faced with a life challenge and take it on courageously knowing you will be victorious, your outcome will be favorable. Perhaps not always in the exact form you wish, but certainly with greater success than if you collapse like a deflated balloon at the outset.
Not convinced? Ah, here’s where history is our friend – monarchs, warriors, hot-coal walkers and more have been succesful because they BELIEVED they could be. So how much Confidence Courage do you have?
On July 2, 1937, 75 years ago today, Amelia Earhart’s Lockheed Electra crashed into the sea somewhere near Howland Island. Some hypotheses conclude she and her navigator, Fred Noonan, ran out of fuel, but others hold that they survived for some time or were even repatriated to the United States.
I confess I’m captivated by Earhart’s story: she quit school, took a flying lesson and bought a plane. She was the first woman to soar 14,000 feet, the first woman to cross the Atlantic as a passenger and the first woman to pilot herself across the pond.
If I were to play the game which allows you to imagine a dinner party including the people you find most interesting, my table would certainly include Amelia. She understood courage as few can, exemplified by these words,”The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.”
Who needs a dose of self-confidence courage? It’s waiting for you on the You Tube video entitled “Jessica’s Daily Affirmation.” It’s a wonderful lesson for all ages. She’s not performing for the camera. She’s completely unconscious of anyone else in the room. It’s exactly who we should all be!
The French sparrow, Edith Piaf, sang the now famous the words, “Non, je ne regrette rien.” Translation: “No, I don’t regret anything.” An amazing way to look at life and according to Stefanie Brassen of the University Medical Center Hamburg-Eppendorf in Germany and her colleagues, it could possibly be a key to successful aging.
What the Brassen team found through experiments with participants ranging in age from their 20’s to their 60’s was that young people tend to fixate on their regrets. Older adults, on the other hand, generally learn not to waste time wallowing in remorse about past circumstances they cannot change.
Brassen’s brain-imaging results suggest that stronger spasms of regret rippled through the minds of young people and depressed adults than through those of healthy older adults.
My personal experiences over the last year have caused me to begin to examine life in the same way. Basically, stewing over our our life challenges won’t change them, so why not step outside of the situation and try to find a positive that could come from the adversity.
My family celebrated the long and wonderful 97 year long life of my darling Auntie Ethel last weekend. She epitomized Edith Piaf’s words of no regrets. How courageous and if it’ll get me to 97, I’m in!
So the Secret Service did secret things in Columbia that are no longer secret. Instead, they’re all over the news and and the agency is in a state of disgrace. Now, I am not a prude. I don’t care who has sex, as long as they’re both consenting adults. But an agent on assignment, even during his “off” hours, is still on the public time clock. Therefore, enlisting the companionship of a prostitute is just stupid. Period, case closed.
An interesting side development comes from current statements that if there were more women in the Secret Service, such a situation might not have arisen. I tend to agree, but not for the obvious reason. To suggest that female agents could act as babysitters for their more randy co-workers is ludicrous. (However, it’s a pretty sure bet that a woman agent could do a week in Columbia, or anywhere else for that matter, and not need to have intercourse.) What many federal agencies, and most corporations, fail to understand is that women offer entirely different types of reasoning, communication, and myriad other skills, than do their male counterparts. Not necessarily better, but different. And different is good.
Furthermore, since the women who apply for positions in male-dominated fields are clearly swimming upstream, I think the level of courage they exhibit is a great lesson for either gender.
Currently 11% of the active Secret Service agents are women. Similarly, 14.6% of active American military personnel are women. While neither the CIA nor the FBI publish such numbers, I’m guessing theirs are similar. Yet more than 50% of the American population is female. The time to rethink things has, come and come again.
I became a high school basketball coach in 1975. It was the year Title Nine was born, legislation ensuring that girls would have sports offerings equal to boys. My tenure as coach lasted 5 years, a mere drop in the bucket as compared to the 39 year career of the NCAA’s winning-est basketball coach of all time.
I’m referring, of course, to Pat Summitt, the Lady Vols’ (University of Tennessee) head coach. Summitt announced her transition from head coach to an emeritus status yesterday (April18) as the result of a diagnosis last year of early onset dementia, Alzheimer’s type.
Summitt’s career included 1,098 victories and eight national championships. It doesn’t matter how much of a basketball fan you are. Those numbers are pretty darned impressive.
Much more impressive are the courage and grace Summitt has exhibited in the face of her diagnosis. We are once again reminded that no one is exempt from life’s trials, but the way in which we handle them will serve to coach others in their challenges.
Thanks for your leadership, Coach Summitt. You are a winner!
I owned Eleanor 5 years before I made my December 2008 cross country move to Michigan. In all that time she had been on lots of trips throughout the southwest, but never into weather below freezing. So imagine my surprise when I hit the 32 degree mark (somewhere in Missouri), looked in my rear view mirror, and saw the word “Ice” glowing from the corner. It was a feature of the truck I didn’t know existed – that of notifying the driver that it was bloody cold outside – as Eleanor and I had never been in below freezing temps together.
Hmmm … what interesting features are lurking around our chassies … things we’re totally unaware of until occasions arise that draw them forth? True, some may be qualities we’d prefer not to recognize, but like Eleanor, I’ll be you’ve got some goodies that would surprise and delight you!
My Eleanor is gone now. But I don’t think the lessons she taught me will never go out of warranty.
I wish I was only referring to courage as “the big C.” But it seems that at this point in my life, it has been determined that it should refer to cancer as well. Breast cancer to be exact. I’ve had five days to get used to saying, “I have breast cancer,” and I still feel as though I’m reading lines from a script.
I have always kept my blog and newsletter as motivation and education for others, but broke with that rule when I informed 1,000 readers of my new personal challenge. The response to my request for their love and prayers has been overwhelming. And moving. And powerful. It seems we spend so much time in our skin, doing our own thing, that we forget every hour of every day, we’re touching others’ lives without ever knowing it. I am as guilty of that as everyone else.
So the board of directors (that would be my husband, my sons, the two women they love, and my best friend) have decided that the best way to keep in touch with everyone is here – on Shades of Courage. I’ll write when I can, David (the love of my life) will write when I can’t, and we hope that you’ll add your comments in for flavor.
As I did in my newsletter, my courage will be bolstered by all the love and prayers you care to send, along with suggestions, personal reflections and funny stories. Especially the funny stories. Humor is a way of life for me and additional material is always welcomed.
My goal is to make certain that My Big C (the cancer one) stands no chance against My Other Big C (the courage one). Thanks in advance for helping me reach the goal!